Attack of the Accessories

Pg. 23, Our Story Begins by Tobias Wolff

Wherever I looked the surface was smooth, undisturbed, and after a time I lost interest. This feeling was one that followed me rather closely, acting almost as a constant shadow, trailing stalkerishly. Cotton dresses, cashmere pencil skirts, silk blouses with satin and gold embroidered buttons; the endless trail of items waiting to be judged, to be accepted, to be worn. The high waisted toile skirt sent by Oscar de la Renta and the silk exotically decorated scarf Coach offered were objects seen as novelties to some, and yet my once mystical vision of fashion has been slightly altered. Since I strutted out of my mother’s wombs thirty-three years ago, fashion has been my life, my passion, my obsession. Playing baseball after school or collecting trading cards never sparked my interest, and instead my appeal wafted in the direction of staying up until the break of dawn reading the latest edition of Vogue under the sheets. Taking notes and creating a massive “inspiration” scrapbook of pieces, accessories, and styles that immensely drew my attention was what took up majority of my time, other than designing the school’s marching band uniforms and attempting avidly to spice up my dull khaki pants, white polo, and sapphire blue sweater vest which made up my school uniform. Almost three centuries later, 278 pairs of shoes later, 1,893 fashion magazines later, 247 bottles of Ralph Lauren’s Polo cologne later, I stand as the Chief Fashion Editor of Vogue magazine. A job once viewed as an heir to a throne, holding the physique of mere royalty, was now a duty, a chore, an obligation. With every stiletto critiqued and each cork wedged pump assessed, the compulsion I was bound to ate away at me uncontrollably. If I am approached by one more snobby stick thin model complaining about her size double 0 waist, one more in-your-face photographer insisting on including me in the shot to include diversity, one more obnoxious designer desperately in need of an “absolutely fabulous” tote and heel combo for the magazine cover…I may consider burning a Vogue.